Reflections: The Challenge Is To Love...

"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge." Thomas Carlyle

Reflections: The Challenge Is To Love...Where is the love?

Love Defined: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; attraction based on sexual desire; affection and tenderness felt by lovers; affection based on admiration, benevolence or common interests Merriam Webster
Aside from the dictionary definition, When you think of Love, what is the first thought that crosses your mind? Pause and reflect on why that particular thought jumped before you. Is it affectionate, benevolent or obsessive love? Most of us spend our lives searching for romantic love and ignore other important elements that contribute to experiencing a healthy and robust love. We spend our time pursuing a lover, loving and hating each other, ignoring those who care about us without ulterior motives and, at the end of the day, we fall over exhausted from the emotional strain we've placed on ourselves.

Some people confuse pretending to be sweet as love. We act lovingly for fear of rocking the proverbial boat. But, pretending to be loving and not speaking the truth about wrong doing is not love; it's hypocrisy. The best teachers are forthright about what their students do because they see the potential for greatness in them. That is an act of love. If we sit back, pretend all is fab fab, and then participate in acts of meanness, we have failed ourselves and our opportunity to grow. That is not love. The challenge is to love ourselves and others unconditionally without expectation. When there is expectation, there is bound to be pain. How have you shown love to others today?


"Where there is love there is life." Mahatma Gandhi

Love is a universal language felt by all. Above is the Hebrew symbol of Love.  Sculptor: Robert Indiana

When I researched the word Love for this post, I found well over 450 million articles on the subject; clearly love matters to many of us, but we don't spend enough time cultivating a spirit of love. One article I read pointed out 15 types of love from: infatuation, romantic, passionate, companionate, unconditional, conditional, puppy, maternal, paternal, soulmate, spiritual/divine, patriotic, self, brotherly to tough love. However, when you look closely at the list, some are actually a subset of others within the grouping. The underlying message is that while love is filtered through many lenses, the essence of love is simply LoVE.

In Ancient Greece, people believed in four kinds of love: Agape; a pure spiritual love, Eros; a passionate/sexual or romantic love, Philia; an affectionate friendship love, and Storge; a parental/familial love. They added a very important fifth type of love: Xenia which is hospitality or charity to others. This act of generosity to strangers remains important today. When we look at the list, the first four are probably the easiest to implement because they generally, not always, come with conditions attached. We feel invested in those relationships, so we act accordingly - in a loving manner. The fifth which is a call to perform frequent random acts of kindness and to treat others by the Golden Rule is harder to do. Why do we find it hard to love unconditionally?
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Haiku: Our Parents...

"We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves." Henry Ward Beecher 

We thank our parents...
For all they gave us - life, birth
Held us close - tears, smiles

We come into the world naked and expectant. We depend on our parents for every little thing. Our lives are in their hands and, as our earliest guardians, they make a huge impact on us. Some of us were raised by biological parents and others by grandparents or adoptive parents. All are PARENTS.  I was reading today about how a mother's role never ends; even when her children fly the coop. Parenting is not an easy role and we all fail at it sometime. The best thing we learn from becoming parents is the recognition that our parents had a tough job that came with no training manual. As parents, we repeat the good and bad habits/practices of our own parents and it takes a concerted effort to change the old pattern of behavior. So this Haiku is dedicated to all parents; especially those who made the best of the tools they had and shared their unconditional love. More below

Gratitude: Are You An Optimist Or A Pessimist?

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." Marcel Proust 

Gratitude: Is the Water Glass half empty or half full?

 Do you think you are more of an optimist or a pessimist?  I've always imagined myself as a rational optimist; meaning I'm typically happy for specific reasons. However, when I started practicing meditation and attending positive, faith driven services, many moons ago, I connected to a joy inside that was not dependent on concrete events. Of course, being human with my share of flaws and foibles, I've also experienced the ups and downs of this seemingly elusive emotion called Happiness. Why do so many spend their lives chasing after Happiness? Why is it that some seem to have more of it and others less? Is it the Law of Attraction? Grace and a grateful heart? Personality? I've met very, very few people, aside from some spiritual teachers, who are perennially joyful. A friend once said to me that being born into the world = a certain percentage of unhappiness. Is that so?


  
"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." Denis Waitley 

What makes you think you're happy?

 What makes you happy? How has the month of February been for you?  What makes me happy today? Aside from the major examples people give like family and friends, the simple things we take for granted make me happy; breath, water, vision, completion, and peace of mind. February opened some great doors for me. For example, when I discovered the Weekly Gratitude Sharing group on NaBloPoMo, I was looking for a concrete way to remind myself to stay grateful.  Despite the usual challenges in life, I wanted a way to publicly acknowledge the good in my life; to see the glass as, at least half full.  I'm delighted to say that it was a wise move because my  wishes were met. So far, writing my weekly Gratitude post is a wonderful reminder that we are not only responsible for our own happiness, but also must make a commitment to honor it daily. 
 More Below!

Sports: 5 Things We Can Learn From the Sochi Olympics

“Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.” Michael Jordan 

Sochi Olympic Rings at Olympic Park

Sportsmanship is key.

Persistence and Practice pay off.

The 2014 Winter Olympics also known as the XXII Olympic Winter Games, or the 22nd Winter Olympics  are being held in Sochi, Russia. It's the first time that Russia has hosted the games and, while there have been some challenges, they have put on a great event. The games started on February 7th and will run it's course on the 23rd. Next stop will be South Korea for the 2018 Winter Olympics. It will be held in the city of Pyeongchang. The Olympics is such a wonderful training ground for anyone who wants to learn or be reminded of what it takes to become a world champion at anything we do; Practice, practice, practice. 17-year-old Adelina Sotnikova beat figure skating defending champion and favorite, Yuna Kim of South Korea,  to win Russia's first Women's Figure Skating gold.  But don't count Yuna out, she is persistent and will be ready at the next meet.  Frankly, any kind of team sports can teach us how to be persistent, brave and spirited in a positive way.


“One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it." Knute Rockne
 

Opening Ceremony Of the XX11 - 22nd Winter Olympics In Sochi, Russia

Giving Your Best is better than merely beating an opponent

Upsets Happen, chin up and plan for 2018

The athletes focus on doing and giving their best.  They don't give up even in the face of failure. When things get tough, they buckle down, put on their game face and keep practicing and perfecting their game. They are in it to win fair and square and most don't have the Harding syndrome. Any athletes who try to abuse the games or other athletes will, eventually, show themselves up and get banned. When Team USA lost to Canada in the Women's Ice Hockey final, they were upset but admitted that Canada played a great game. They shed tears on the stand and plan to be better prepared and ready in 2018. Scheming or attacking an opponent is the wrong headed way to compete in life. It might give temporary gains but in the long term it won't work... and we all know what happened to Harding and others who went down that road.  The lessons learned in the sports arena translate well with how we handle situations in our every day lives. What behavior have you observed since the games started. What have you learned about team effort and sportsmanship?  What additional things can we say we learned?

Come back for the rest

On Money & Meanness: A Perspective

"Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver." Ayn Rand 

 

On Money & Meanness: A Perspective - Does money make you mean?

Money and Meanness: What do you think of rich people? What about people in poverty?  When it comes to the subject of money, everyone has an opinion. Some of us see it as financial freedom, others see it as a burden, and there are those who see it as a way to dominate others. Yet, money is energy and gives us the opportunity do with it as our heart or head dictates. If we don't have it, we worry about paying our bills and our meanness might be the result of our frustration. If we have it, we worry that others might steal it or we might decide to use it as a control mechanism: a weapon against our enemies. Regardless of how we view it, one thing is clear, our upbringing and experiences have an impact on our attitude towards money.  There are mean and stingy rich and poor people. The mean behavior has more to do with the relationship they have with money, a sense of entitlement/loss/not having enough, than their social standing.

Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough. I'm here humbly to ask a few questions: 1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym) 2) Which age group should I target? 3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys 4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married) Ms. Pretty Amazing

Does money make rich people mean?  Not entirely. I believe it can exacerbate an existing tendency that already exists in us. If you've always been a considerate person, winning the lottery won't turn you into an ogre unless that monster was always part of your shadow self.  Bill Gates, Oprah, Bono, and other very wealthy people we know put their money to work for good. They use it to help educate, heal and uplift the downtrodden. Some wealthy folk see their money through the lens of power and privilege and become abusive but this is not a given for every rich person. Some rich people become very paranoid because they fear the Ms-Pretty-Amazings (see above) of the world want them strictly for their money.  The young lady, a 25 year old pretty girl, posted this in Craigslist some years ago. It brought attention to her when, allegedly, a high ranking office or the CEO at JP Morgan sent her a reply. What motivates you to work for your own upkeep? What would you have advised her to do?  The Investment Banker's reply is in the 2nd half below.


 If you want to rear financial blessings, you have to sow financially. Joel Osteen 
 

Money For Nothing - Meanness,  not a gold coin, is free.

Paul Piff: Does money make you mean?


What has had more influence on your life perspective: your upbringing or your experiences?
I would say both have influenced my perspective about money. My dad was a generous, yet conservative philanthropist. He saw money as seeds to be planted and nurtured. Later in life, I met people who saw money as bullets used to destroy anyone who opposed their myopic thinking. I prefer my late dad's thinking. Another subject that triggered this post was the December presentation (see above) by Paul Piff at a TED event. In the video, Paul speaks about an experiment he conducted to help him determine the relationship between money and meanness. He offered two groups of  volunteers a chance at playing a win-money-game of monopoly. Unbeknownst to the poor group, the rich players had the advantage because the game was rigged.

As the game unfolded, the behavior of the rich players shifted; they became abrasive and pompous. This was, as Piff suggested in the video, a way the mind makes sense of advantage. As the advantaged power players  won each game, they started bragging, got bolder, started cheating,  and had a sense of entitlement and self-interest. Their  lack of compassion grew as the Poor players, feeling down and intimidated, gave in to their opponents. if you've been exposed to that sort of oppressive environment, it could shape your attitude about poverty and wealth. To learn more on the Rigged game of monopoly - watch the video above.

Money is a lubricant. It lets you “slide” through life instead of having to “scrape” by. Money brings freedom—freedom to buy what you want , and freedom to do what you want with your time. Money allows you to enjoy the finer things in life as well as giving you the opportunity to help others have the necessities in life. Most of all, having money allows you not to have to spend your energy worrying about not having money. T. Harv Eker

 As much as I understand the saying that loving money is the root of all evil, I believe we can love making money without pernicious outcomes. My personal belief is that money is energy and by itself is not evil. People have different motivations for making money and, as we earn more, certain character traits are enhanced. Money alone is not evil but what people choose to do with it can become evil. T.Harv Eker says it well  in the quote above: having money helps us spend energy elsewhere instead of worrying.  What's your take?
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Presidents' Day 2014: A Haiku Celebration

"Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience." George Washington

 Presidents Day is Actually In Honor of Our 1st President's Birthday... The poster reminds us.

On Presidents' Day
44 Presidents praised
Ab and George's birthdays

 For Presidents' Day
Some honor George, not the rest.
Why?  A misnomer!


Happy Presidents Day! If you have the day off, lucky you; rest and re-connect with friends and family. If not, don't worry, at least you are keeping this great nation running. We celebrate this day in honor of George Washington's birthday, Lincoln's birthday, and by default, in honor of all the 44 Presidents of the USA. Did you know that there isn't a specific presidents day but that over the years, we chose George's birthday as the day and it has become a federal holiday. Many businesses have turned it into a shopping extravaganza and others as a day of rest. What do you do on this day?  Enjoy and more below!

Gratitude: A Sunday Haiku...

"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul." Henry Ward Beecher

Grateful for all life

Grateful for all life
Memories of up down days
Outside, the sun shines

A grateful heart smiles
Hopeful when sad tears arise
Inside, love unfolds

Happy Valentine's Day 2014: A Special Gift Day

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another." Thomas Merton
 

Happy Valentine's Day 2014 - Virtual Gifts To All

Happy Valentine's Day to You, You and You! I hope you are having a great day. While many of you are eating chocolates, opening gifts and having a good time, some folk are not. Let’s share some Valentine’s Day love by sending out virtual love and special gifts to all. So, if you are alone, we haven't forgotten you and I send you love-hugs and blessings! If you got nothing material from your loved ones, please join the giveaway below for a chance to win a price. Virtual gifts sent your way too. What are you doing today? What kinds of gifts did you get?

Did you get what you wanted for Valentine's Day? If no this is the giveaway for you! Enter to win and then you can get the Valentine's Gift you really wanted! Or, if you are super nice use it to make someone else day.

I’m joining a group of amazing bloggers to bring you this fun giveaway! One lucky winner is going to get a $50 eGift Card of your choice!! What would you choose?

We are making it easy peasy to enter! Just use the form below.

Remember, this giveaway ends in 24 hours, at 11:59 pm on February 14! Tell your friends so they can enter, too!

Good Luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Enjoy you special day and hope to see you again soon. More below!    

Inspiration: What Are You Grateful For Today?

"Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melody Beattie 

During this Valentine's Day Season, What are you grateful for?

Happy Valentine's Day 2014!  With Valentine's Day around the corner, people are thinking about their loved ones and making arrangements for a fun day. This is also a time to pause and be thankful for all that we have. At the end of the day, nothing  matters more than the love we share and the grace we receive from others. Below are six of  twelve things I am grateful for today and during this season. The remaining six are in the latter half of this post. There is also a NaBloPoMo Gratitude linkup below; feel free to add a gratitude or happy post to share with others. Thank you! What are you grateful for today? What am I grateful for today?  I am grateful for the following:

 Life:  It is such a precious gift and when we lose someone dear, we are reminded how important it is to always say thank you and show love. One of my favorite child actors, Shirley Temple, dead recently at 85. She was a great gift and I am thankful to the love she shared in her films.
 Love:  We love our friends and family; that's a given, but with Valentine's Day a few deep breaths away, random acts of  loving kindness will make someone's day and the world brighter.
Family: Everything begins and ends with family, and our family includes those whose friendships go deeper even than familial bonds. Family is kin and kindred souls. I'm grateful for both.

True Friendships:  Friendships matter and we don't forget them ever. I cherish my friendships and wish all the blessing of true friendship; unlike the one shared in this story of friendship gone wrong
Food:  We have abundant food in the US and so it's easy to forget that, in many parts of the world, people eat once a day ... and not healthy foods. With about 90% of the world's population estimated by the UN to be food deprived; they eat one meal a day. food is medicine and a blessing.
Maintaining a Sense of Humor:  We need humor to help us stay healthy physically/mentally, and maintain our calm in hard times.  The Dumb Starbucks parody made me laugh and that is something to be thankful for - Laughter
Happy Valentine's Day. What are you thankful for today?  More Below

Going TNW Pro: A Smart Way To Make New Social Media Friends

Think where man's glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends. William Butler Yeats

Screenshot of How TNW Pro Member Looks

 The Next Web (TNW)  is a terrific online publication that curates and shares the latest news on technology, business and culture. They have a global reach with about 7.2 million monthly visitors to their site. Visitors come to learn about the latest in internet technology and other hot button news.  So why am I telling you all this? Because TNW offers a great subscription with a fantastic gift attached to it. When you sign up, they offer you a one month free trial and then if you wish to continue, a one year subscription is only $30.

What is the gift? If you look at the frame above, there is a picture of me and my Twitter link. When you sign up with TNW, they offer you your own webpage on their site, and whenever you share a post from the site, your profile is attached and you increase your contact with others and the potential to make new friends. Typically, we send out a link with nothing more and others re-tweet, click or ignore it. With the byline, it draws attention and connections can be made.  How does this work?

Another Look at the Pro Member Image

I was curious how my Pro membership worked when I first read about it and so I explored further.  On their FAQ page, they provided the additional explanation below.

 How do I share as a Pro? Every post on TNW has share buttons for Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn. When you are logged in as a Pro member (you can see if you are by checking the menu bar. If it is yellow and shows ‘PRO’ that means you are logged in) the share buttons contain custom URLs with your unique ID in them. They are shortened using our own tnw.to domain. When you use these sharing buttons to share to Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn you are using the correct URL.

Each time your shared article is clicked on or re-shared your unique ID registers it. Of course, the more hot news we read and share the more others are exposed to it and TNW has a weekly update on the top 20 members who've shared newsy items. So give it a try. Funnily, I was reading another post from the site on 20 Ways to be Awesome on the internet and that post led me to this one. Two things that stood out for me on that post was: Be Useful and Love What you do. Would you be interested in learning about the other 18 points? The audio is below and it's a short and easy to hear recording. Go on, listen and then Go sign up on The Next Web and claim your Pro page.
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Reflections: To My Childhood Self

"There are perhaps no days of our childhood we lived so fully as those we spent with a favorite book." Marcel Proust 
 

Were you happy or sad? Two Children at play with their cats

What words of encouragement do you need to hear?
To my childhood self ... I say thank you
Thank you for the love we shared
and the books we read... The games we played
The songs we sang... The Tyger Tyger  poetry

Thank you for the creative streak,
The dirty shoes and faces too
Thank you for the memories
of languid days so free from pain...

Thank you for the happy times
For prayers too and Catholic School
Thank you for my family
For pets and angels,  friends and foe

Thank you for protecting me
From nicks and bites, sprains and falls
Thank you heart for teaching me
That God loves our curiosity...

What did the picture above trigger in you?
I was a quiet child; not a particularly happy one. I was reflective, moody and shy. I had one saving grace;  my love of books and reading. I buried my head in books and read my way through my father's office  library. As time went by, I blossomed, found my voice and ventured out more. I had a lot of love for animals as a child and still do today. The picture above reminded me of the pets that came and left our household; mostly dogs. When I think back to those days, I wonder what the rush was to grow up. Why were we in such a hurry? I love Dirty Face by Shel Silverstein as it speaks to many of my childhood experiences. The words are in the next section but listen to the recording first. And what do you have to say to your childhood self?


 
MORE BELOW!

Musings: On Contemplation and Relaxation...

"The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival." Aristotle

 Some people think the contemplative life is a waste of time.
Why bother with mental gymnastics? Why get your brain cells in a twist?
Can we understand that an active mind needs time to relax? 

Contemplation is not just for the pretentious and the bored..
We find spaces of relaxation for our over-active minds
Is it mental masturbation to think through our confusions?

Would it matter if I was thinking about my private beliefs?
Would it matter if I was developing a retort to a caustic line?
We contemplate to be born afresh, not to pose a threat.


While keeping in line with this month's theme in Nablopomo with a new word to focus on - Perspective, I've also decided to try using/adding a few other prompts to get this blog moving. Each week, The Daily Post at WordPress.com offers wonderful prompts to explore every day. They also offer a Weekly Writing Challenge  on Mondays and we have to write a creative post of not more than 1000 words. This week, they have offered us pictures to get our creative juices flowing. We pick one of four photos; each has a special word attached. then we write any type of creative post on the word and photo. I picked two photos to write on... Hope you like them!

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Haiku: Gaining Perspective

"You must look within for value, but must look beyond for perspective." Denis Waitley 

Is the world flat? Gaining Perspective of the road and sky

Useless arguments...
Road meets Sky. Is the world flat?
Gain some perspective

Thoughtful perspective
Is that Blue Sky or Blue Sea?
What's your perspective?

Authentic cadence
Rising or falling rhythms
Deceptive voice shows...

A flawed perspective
Letting our failures rule us...
Lets go, rise Phoenix!


 This week, the prompt is: Useless  and Cadence
 

What is a haiku?
 As Leo of Haiku Heights aptly explains, a haiku is a three line poem. It shows what the author wants us to understand from it, rather than tell it directly. The limitation to a haiku is seventeen syllables. It can be at maximum, that much. If you wish to go by the traditional Japanese structure even with English haiku, you can use a 5-7-5 syllable, or 3-5-3 syllable structure


  


 As we start the month of February, we have a new Nablopomo word to focus on - Perspective. How do we develop it? What do we gain from having a negative/positive/neutral perspective? What is real? Truth? False? It's all in the perspective we take and no one can take that away from us.   For this exercise, I have merged my thoughts on the subject with two words from our weekly haiku at Haiku Heights - Useless and cadence. Hmm mm. What comes to mind when you think of both words? What do you think of my interpretation haiku? If you are interested in joining the February Challenge, there are a few tips to remember:
1) The NaBloPoMo February 2014 theme is "Perspective"
2) The NaBloPoMo writing prompts are Fantastic
3)  NaBloPoMo has added a photography component to its theme and prompts
4)  I'm doing NaBloPoMo, and I'd LOVE some company.


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