19.7.10

Positive Kismet: What Difference Does Our Attitude Make?

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts... I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes." Victor E. Frankl (Man's Search For Meaning)

Kismet means fate/destiny. Some believe fate is predetermined, others believe that we have a measure of freewill, and there are those souls amongst us who see it as one serendipitous event after another with periodic hurricanes thrown in to keep us humble. Regardless of what we believe, one thing is certain: our attitude accompanies us on every path we travel and serves as judge and jury to our actions; we must choose wisely.

As humans, do we have negative and positive thoughts? Sure do.
Do we have a choice which way our thoughts/actions go? Yes.
Do our thoughts influence our actions/attitude?  You bet.
Does it take great courage to focus on developing a positive attitude? Yep
If we could focus on a preferred way of thinking and acting, which would we choose?

The point is that some associate positive anything with the airy fairy, la-di-da, delude yourself about life set. Having a positive perspective is about courageous, logical, common sense actions that empower and uplift us and others around us – we are powerful beings in a challenged world. Imagine if Edison believed that we were destined to spend the rest of our lives living by candles and oil lamps instead of the bright lights we enjoy in our homes today? Darkness doesn’t have to be a permanent state or condition.

"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same." Francesca Reigler      

An Anecdote:
When I was in graduate school, there was/we had a beloved and highly regarded Professor of Clinical Psychology; we'll call him Prof Zee here. Prof Zee's classes were always packed to the rafters as he had a reputation for being a compassionate and attentive teacher. He was skilled at distilling complex theories and equations into clear and understandable language and even students from other departments wanted to take his fundamentals course. 
As life would have it, Prof Zee announced at the beginning of one academic year that he planned to retire and move away from New York. There was a scramble to register for his final semester class and those of us who were fortunate enough to attend that final course were forever blessed by the wisdom and skill of a master teacher. 
On the first day of class he advised us to "stop worrying about failure or success and focus on being present and engaged." We were. Throughout the course, he engaged and challenged us with individual and group assignments.  For our final exams, he gave us both a take home and in-class exam. We came to our last class both exhilarated and saddened.  Prof Zee had something up his sleeve. He gave back the exams and instructed us to spend a few minutes reflecting on our efforts throughout the semester. Then he said, "I want you to write the final cumulative grade you know you deserve on your exam sheet and give it back to me." We did and quickly handed our papers back.
Prof Zee then led us in a riveting discussion of how our beliefs, attitudes, and training shape our choices and decisions. What were other internal/external predictors? He called on a range of people to ask why they gave themselves a low/high grade. The answers were revelatory and ran the gamut; I earned it, I didn't deserve it, I shoulda-coulda-woulda, I know my stuff and on. There was discussion on the impact expectations and a positive attitude has on our sense of self worth and value. In the end, we agreed that a healthy self-image, a positive mental attitude gives us more "A+" Days. To make us remember this, he gave us the final grade we wrote down .... we deserved it!

Life is filled with blessings and burdens and the difference between those who thrive and those who don’t speaks volumes about our attitude; a positive attitude is critical to how we respond to events in our lives.
 A positive attitude doesn’t mean ignoring our responsibilities, pretending that our struggles no longer exist, never having a bad hair day or running off to some undefined nirvana; it’s really about how we choose to respond to situations that we experience in our daily lives.

The last couple of years have been very difficult for many families. People lost jobs, homes, health insurance, businesses and loved ones. The bigger challenge for many has been finding the strength within, God’s grace, and the can-do attitude to pull back from the brink. In times like now, a positive attitude is like a much needed hug; a way to remind ourselves that everything will change for the better. We will prevail. We will be okay. Unequivocally!

Our Strengths:
Through all the hardships there have been remarkable comebacks, redemptions, and successes as many have found a new path, a new way of living and a simplifying of lifestyles. I’m sure we could all think of someone we know who fits the bill. Identify them here so we can applaud their courageous spirit. I have a list and will add a few at the end. If you are searching for work,  Here’s a list of top 10 companies hiring again. Go for it!. 

A universal healing is in order as there are still so many people hurting in the world and we can be part of that healing process by our positive attitude of goodwill, gratitude, graceful action and awareness of our own kismet and how goodness reverberates.
Do I have all the answers? No. What are your thoughts?  I would love to hear from you: Your comments are always appreciated. Thank You!

My Courage Awards go to:  NY's Finest & Bravest, W. Mitchell, Esmeralda WN, Penny, Susan, Edna, Tess, Deana, Alison R, Displaced Women, Refugees, 9/11 Families and all globally who struggle against oppression and abject poverty. (The order is random).

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank


41 comments:

  1. Lots of stuff to think about here! I love the fact that we do hold the power to be positive.

    I liked the professor's advice to be engaged and present. You can sure learn a lot being that way. Much more than when your mind is clouded by worry.

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  2. I'm a pretty negative person most of the time (as you probably know) but it is important to try to stay positive. It can be hard to do that, but it's always worth a try.

    On a completely different note - what template are you using for you blog? I like it!

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  3. Great post! I agree our thoughts influence our actions/attitude, and I'd absolutely choose the positive. Thank you for pointing out the fact that it takes courage, logic and common sense actions to do so. It sure takes practice & discipline esp. as we battle years and years of negative thinking patterns.

    You have an award waiting for you! Come see over at http://jinnialow.com/the-thankfulness-continues

    Have an awesome weekend, Eliz!
    Jinnia

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  4. Thank you Jinnia & Allegra for your comments. I am still getting used to this blogging platform and once up to speed will probably enjoy all that it has to offer. Allegra, I used the Picture Window template by Josh Pedderson. Only problem is that it appears warped on my blackberry (words and stuff on the right bar are on tossed into the blog making it difficult to read)and I haven't figured out how to correct it.
    Anyone with ideas help.
    Thnak you,
    Eliz

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  5. Eliz,
    Thank you for stopping by my blog, and for the compliment. You have such a positive outlook on life...something I need more of. I am following you now, so I will be back often.

    Lisa

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  6. Edison tried hundreds of times to make the first lightbulb. Instead of thinking of the first ones as failures, he thought of them as lessons. Now that's a positive attitude!

    I wish I could say I share an attitude about life that positive, but I'm still working on removing the negative tapes that are in my head as a first knee-jerk reaction! Lessons, not failures - right?

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  7. Lisa and Cassiopeia,
    Thank you for stopping by my blog. I need the positive reminders too and describe myself as a work in positive progress. Lol!
    Yes, life is full of lessons and we learn good/bad from them... I find that a positive attitude helps me push through the angry parts.
    Have a great week ahead,
    Eliz

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  8. Great posts!

    Hi! I'm a new follower! I hope you'll follow me back at Chubby Cheeks Thinks!

    Kim
    Chubby Cheeks Thinks

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  9. Stopping by from SITS/Blogfrog...thanks for this. As someone who a) has a chronic diseas and b) writes a blog about inspiration and living creatively, I really appreciate a post on the power of attitude!!

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  10. Totally agree, we all have the power to direct our thoughts, and a positive mindset is a choice. I make it every day, and yeah.. some days it's harder than others, but in the end, how I feel is up to me! Great post. :)

    c

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  11. Kim, Bekah and Cori,
    Thank you for your feedback and blog support. I will do same for yours too.\!
    I write about these topics because I need to be reminded too about the power of a clear, positive thought and vision.
    Daily, I recommit to get back on track as, like any human, I do fall short too.
    E :-)

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  12. Thanks for the follow! Following back! Love your post. Looking forward to reading more posts on your blog! http://mymoho.blogspot.com/

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  13. Mymoho,
    Thank you too for the visit! I look forward to reading more of your posts.
    Best,
    Eliz

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  14. A big wake-up call for me is encountering another person who is always negative. It makes me wonder, "Wow. This is what it must be like for other people to be around ME." I'm no Pollyanna, but this last year or so, I've made a conscious effort to be more positive.

    And you know, my son is benefitting from that, because negativity is so contagious. I was pulling him down with me, and that's just no good.

    This is a great, positive post!

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  15. Thank you Erin, Ditto here... I need the reminders too. I believe we all do at different points in our lives.
    E

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  16. It maybe difficult to do but keeping a positive thought no matter how hard life is, is the best way to live life. With so many things that's happening, we must keep in mind that are just ways to test our faith and to make us strong and be a better person. And yes, I choose to be positive and I stay away from people who are always negative.

    Mommy Maye
    www.momaye.com

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  17. I find that the older I get, 61, the better I feel if I have a good attitude. Being positive and trying to keep negative thoughts at bay is the best way to live. Thank you.

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  18. Thank You for sharing,we can use the inspiration to be positive and good will follow.

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  19. I think having a positive attitude makes all the difference in life. Negativity brings in more negativity and who needs that?

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  20. I love this post. It's so important to stay positive. I'm going through some really rough personal problems right now, and the only reason I'm keeping my head afloat is because I keep reminding myself to let go. Thank you for sharing :)

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  21. Attitude is everything. It's more important than anything else you do. Frankly, you cannot be successful if you don't have the proper attitude.

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  22. I think that our thoughts definitely influence our actions. I notice that on days I think that I will have a good day, I am way more likely to actually have a good day.

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  23. You make some very good points. I think the right attitude is everything.

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  24. Wow...where to begin? My thoughts are a jumble reading this. Yes, I've always been very optimistic and realistic. I believe it was a gift from God, my attitude. Just as it was a gift in disguise to surround me with pessimistic type people for balance. The last few years have been hard for my family and many others. I just always remind myself that based on my "efforts" I'm exactly where I deserve to be ;)

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  25. I know that attitudes can always make a huge difference. I try to have a positive attitude throughout the day. It sure makes for a better day.

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  26. Awesome post. Positive thinking and inspiration is everything. Thank you for sharing.

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  27. The older I get the more positive I get. It's easy to go to the negative side and I see many people who have lived their lives complaining. They have missed out on many things...like smiling and being happy!

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  28. Sometimes it's difficult to have a positive attitude but it helps to try. Going in to things with a bad attitude won't help anything.

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  29. This is so awesome. It is just what I needed to pull myself out of my funk

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  30. Attitude is definitely everything. If you aren't in the right mindset when you approach something, it's going to be that much more difficult.

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  31. Wonderful post! And I agree with you - having a positive attitude makes a notable difference.

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  32. I find that being positive helps me deal with life a little better. Especially this phase of life. Angsty kids, terrible twos, hubby working late all the time... And it's too cold to go outside and burn energy off so we're all grumbily. lol.

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  33. I agree with you that a positive attitude is really important. I know that my outlook on life is so much better when I try to remain positive.

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  34. Great post! I am a pessimist by nature, my husband is the positive one.. I am working on it though! Thanks for sharing...

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  35. I think having a positive perspective is important to happiness and success in life. That being said, my husband is the "la-ti-da", floating in the clouds optimist while I have practicality and rationality placed around my neck. I am more of a realist, but generally keep an optimistic outlook.

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  36. Having the right attitude makes a HUGE difference. I'm a realist and my husband thinks that makes me pessimistic even though he's much more pessimistic than I am. I know what my strengths are so I know when I can't do something and that doesn't make me a pessimist. Thanks for some great insight! Always love reading your posts :)

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  37. I try to keep a positive attitude. I smile as much as possible & try not to sweat the small stuff. Sometimes the negative me comes out & it is indeed stressful. Thanks for the great reminder.

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  38. A great inspiring article, how our attitude cane play a major role & what difference it can make. I love that fabulous quote by "Francesca Reigler". Life is all about both ups & downs & I think strong attitude is what can keep us going strong. Thanks for sharing.

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  39. I think having a positive attitude makes the entire difference. I'm a realist but, I do try to be positive at all times.

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  40. I truly believe that a positive attitude can make even the worst things better. And a negative one can make everything worse.

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  41. I always say happiness is a choice and how we reactive to certain circumstances can dictate how we live our lives, this is such an amazing post thanks for sharing.

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