27.2.14

Reflections: The Challenge Is To Love...

"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge." Thomas Carlyle

Reflections: The Challenge Is To Love...Where is the love?


Love Defined: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; attraction based on sexual desire; affection and tenderness felt by lovers; affection based on admiration, benevolence or common interests Merriam Webster
Aside from the dictionary definition, When you think of Love, what is the first thought that crosses your mind? Pause and reflect on why that particular thought jumped before you. Is it affectionate, benevolent or obsessive love? Most of us spend our lives searching for romantic love and ignore other important elements that contribute to experiencing a healthy and robust love. We spend our time pursuing a lover, loving and hating each other, ignoring those who care about us without ulterior motives and, at the end of the day, we fall over exhausted from the emotional strain we've placed on ourselves.

Some people confuse pretending to be sweet as love. We act lovingly for fear of rocking the proverbial boat. But, pretending to be loving and not speaking the truth about wrong doing is not love; it's hypocrisy. The best teachers are forthright about what their students do because they see the potential for greatness in them. That is an act of love. If we sit back, pretend all is fab fab, and then participate in acts of meanness, we have failed ourselves and our opportunity to grow. That is not love. The challenge is to love ourselves and others unconditionally without expectation. When there is expectation, there is bound to be pain. How have you shown love to others today?


"Where there is love there is life." Mahatma Gandhi

Love is a universal language felt by all. Above is the Hebrew symbol of Love.  Sculptor: Robert Indiana


When I researched the word Love for this post, I found well over 450 million articles on the subject; clearly love matters to many of us, but we don't spend enough time cultivating a spirit of love. One article I read pointed out 15 types of love from: infatuation, romantic, passionate, companionate, unconditional, conditional, puppy, maternal, paternal, soulmate, spiritual/divine, patriotic, self, brotherly to tough love. However, when you look closely at the list, some are actually a subset of others within the grouping. The underlying message is that while love is filtered through many lenses, the essence of love is simply LoVE.

In Ancient Greece, people believed in four kinds of love: Agape; a pure spiritual love, Eros; a passionate/sexual or romantic love, Philia; an affectionate friendship love, and Storge; a parental/familial love. They added a very important fifth type of love: Xenia which is hospitality or charity to others. This act of generosity to strangers remains important today. When we look at the list, the first four are probably the easiest to implement because they generally, not always, come with conditions attached. We feel invested in those relationships, so we act accordingly - in a loving manner. The fifth which is a call to perform frequent random acts of kindness and to treat others by the Golden Rule is harder to do. Why do we find it hard to love unconditionally?
More Below




"There is no remedy for love but to love more." David Henry Thoreau

Whether in symbols or words Love is every person's wish. Above  is a Chinese symbol of Love - Ai


A couple of weeks ago, we celebrated Valentine's Day in countries around the world. Some friends complained it had nothing to do with love and more to do with commercial interests and the need for some to assuage feelings of guilt. Whether you participated or not, what remains ironic is that right after the 14th, people reverted to their mean and petty ways; so the true meaning or lesson of that special day was wasted. If we spent our time asking ourselves a few questions, on a regular basis, we might be more inclined to give love more liberally and withhold our tendencies for pettiness.

Let's think about the following questions. How can I help my fellow man/woman today? What can I do to encourage another blogger/person/stranger today? What gives me the most joy? If I am angry with another, how can I tell the other person without becoming abusive? If I were to drop dead in the next hour, what would I have gained from petty hatreds? If I were to pass away today, what would people outside of my friends and family say about me? The challenge is to love yourself and, from that vantage point, treat others with equanimity = love. Are you willing to challenge yourself to love even your so called enemy today?

Some Food for Thought: What does love mean to you? Where is your love channeled right now? If you could shift your focus to be more loving, what would you do differently? Love and Peace!

I would love to hear from you: Please leave me a comment. Thank You!
PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photographs:Where is the love, Ahava Sculpture by Robert Indiana, Chinese character for love,via Wikipedia, or my personal collection.

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet


51 comments:

  1. I love posts that make one come away and leave you with something to use or think about. Thanks for reminding us to not just celebrate love one day a year but to celebrate the different meanings of it everyday.

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  2. To me, love means an unconditional bond that you share. <3

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  3. That wall graffiti reminds me of a song. I am not sure but I think Peaches and Herb sang it. Where is the love, you said you'd give to me.....

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  4. The first thing that came to my head was showing someone that ;you care. You mad a lot of great points especially about expectations. I am guilty of this one and sure enough it brought hurt. To love is to Love!! Great job on this article!!

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  5. I think love is one of the most important emotions that we have. It motivates and drives us to cultivate our passions. I would like to work on the Xenia form of love. I think that is something we could all improve on!

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  6. Maybe because I've been married for so long, I look at love as the nurturing I can give to my family. I look at love for others in the simple acts of kindness that others do. Love is such a complicated idea. I am more aware that I don't say "I love you" enough. This is a reminder to say it more.

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  7. My love is channeled towards my family. I have a lot to share with them. :)

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  8. Very interesting to learn bout the different types of love. I think it would be good if we could all be more loving.

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  9. True love is unconditional. And one should cherish and celebrate it each day of their life!

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  10. I've never found love to be forced. I don't think I could choose to love someone; I think it would come from within.

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    1. I completely agree with you. Real, absolutely honest love is never forced upon anyone.

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  11. "If I am angry with another, how can I tell the other person without becoming abusive?" I think there are a lot of people out there that do not know how to express disappointment or dissatisfaction without becoming verbally abusive. I think people need to always take a few steps back before they react and perhaps walk away from it for a few hours. It would solve a lot of hurt feelings.

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  12. The first thing I think of when I hear the word "love" is my husband, who I have a deep love for in many different ways. I also think of my children, which is self-explanatory. :)

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  13. I have that Chinese symbol of love tattooed on my back.

    When I think of love, I immediately think of my children and my husband <3

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  14. Love has so many different facets and capacities that it is really interesting. I agree there is always room for more love.

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  15. Those are great questions to ask ourselves. What love means to me, is putting someones needs before my own! Always wanting the best for them.

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  16. What a nice post. I agree that we can always love more. :)

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  17. God is love. For me, love means not seeing age, race, economic status, sexual preference, loving like Jesus did unconditionally.

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  18. Love is not a feeling. its not a word. its an action. its a verb

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  19. Love can be so many things. I love this post. There's always need for more love :)

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  20. This is such a great post. Love definitely can be felt when you receive it in return.

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  21. Some of the greatest thoughts about love, in my opinion, and that I love most are from the Bible.

    One that has come to mind lately in a different discussion is 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."

    We can do lots of "good" things out of selfish motives and what "good" do they really end up doing? Many times, it can do more harm than good in the long run. Love is why we even exist! :)

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  22. "There is no remedy for love but to love more." David Henry Thoreau That is such a wonderful and all encompassing quote. We never run out of love so give it away, give it away.

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  23. Your posts always make people think :) Love is felt, love is shown. It's so much more than a word.

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  24. I'm not really a fan of Valentine's Day, for just that reason- show love because the calendar says and then stop the next day. It doesn't make sense. Love is an every day kind of thing.

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  25. Good post, I think in real love we love our neighbor. So, we show our love in good deeds.

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  26. The hebrew letter is beautiful. I believe I have that in my childhood jewelry box.

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  27. Great post! I love that Henry David Thoreau quote. Everyone could use a little more love.

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  28. I definitely believe that love is something we show everyday through our words and actions. I personally am not a big fan of Valentine's day.

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  29. I like the 4 kinds of love. I choose to love my husband each day and to work on our marriage.

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  30. I think that love is the every day. Doing those little things for people around you. Selfless things. thanks for the refreshing post. :)

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  31. Who would have thought that there were so many different ways to love. Love is the foundation for so many things. I loved the message of this post!

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  32. I love these quotes. Love is really what it's all about.

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  33. I really enjoyed this post :) I guess there are different types of love - but the ultimate is always unconditional love. Love with no conditions whatsoever. I also loved the Mahatma Gandhi quote - what an incredible human being he was. I am often inspired by his words :)

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  34. Well to me love is really scary. I have so often been hurt by people that have said they loved me. I am very hesitant to be friends with anyone and I don't have any friends. I don't talk to anyone other than people I randomly meet and my husband and mom and rarely see my family. I try to be nice to people that I meet and give them compliments, if it is a holiday go out of my way to tell them I hope they have a nice day, I especially try to be kind to people in retail. They are underpaid and it is a thankless and hard job. I used to work retail and around XMAS every year I randomly give out extra jewelry I make to them as a surprise to make their day a little brighter. Not sure if that is love, but compassion.

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  35. Love this post. Left me with a lot to think about!

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  36. Such a beautiful post! Love is a many splendored thing! And I totally agree there is always room for more love!

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  37. This was a great reminder to show love every single day of the year! If everyone made an effort to think more of others, our world would be a much more pleasant place to live!

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  38. Great post. I love love .... being kind to all and love for all is a great way to be. If everyone thought that way and acted upon those thoughts, can you imagine the good that would be part of this world?!

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  39. Love is one of the greatest emotions that we have. To love your kids, your spouse, your parents, etc. all of these people and yet there is still enough love to go around. It's so amazing :)

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  40. This is a great post! When I read the paragraph about the different kinds of love, I thought that was very interesting. Then I instantly remembered the term I grew up hearing about from our pastor and my parents. Agape love which you mentioned.

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  41. I'm the type of person who LOVES to see people in love - friendships, kinships, romantically - old love, young love, love to hate each other love. It's what makes the world go round.

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  42. Great thinking post! I know I need to show more love to others.

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  43. such a profound post. love can mean so many things for different people

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  44. I hear people saying to each other on the phone "Love You". I think many times you don't have to tell someone you love them but show through kindness or even listening if they need someone to talk to. Great post.

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  45. I sometimes hear people on their cell phones saying "love you". It sounds like a habit. I believe you don't always have to say I love you but showing by actions is more meaningful. Being kind, sending a card to make someone's day, showing it daily. Great post.

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  46. Your post made me think of song by Musiq called Love. So many people use that name in vain......

    Truth is- there are so many ways to love. But the golden rule is simple- as you mentioned to love is to live. Thank you for the reminder. Now I'm off to put your challenge into action!

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  47. Very thought provoking post Love means a lot of things to me. My family and my friends. My work and my life. I have a lot of love to give!

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  48. I love stopping by and getting all the positive energy from your blog!

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  49. Love means a lot to me but my love for each person is different. Some people get more affection from me than others.

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  50. Love requires truth. So true. It also requires accepting truth from those we love. Wonderful post!

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