From Brides to Bridezillas

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward" - Benjamin Franklin

The scenarios around marriage, weddings and being a bride can be a very stressful experience. We often wonder what happened when a loving, caring couple, suddenly become growling, angry beasts as the preparations and stresses of a wedding day approaches. No matter where you come from in our global village, there are rituals and rites that must be observed for anyone getting married. Some come with huge price-tags whilst others are choreographed within an inch of the groom and bride's lives... all add to mounting stress even for such a happy event.

As I thought about Redhead Riter's prompt for this week, I couldn't help but imagine how complicated the bridal process and wedding arrangements are around the world. I also couldn't help but wonder about those bridezillas we watch on TV. How the heck did they get that way? Is being on TV that important that normal, decent people are willing to wreck their reputation and behave like monsters?
I dont know...

The question for this week's Tell The Truth Thursday is:
Did you have a wonderful wedding day? Would you change anything? If you're not married, describe your ideal wedding day.

Honestly, the more I thought about the whole affair of what it takes to get to a wedding and say the "I Do's", the more fascinated I became about the ways they are celebrated and cherished elsewhere. What are the steps leading up to the wedding in your cultural background? What about  your family tradition around weddings and gowns? I'd love to hear from you. Meanwhile, I added a few pictures above and below to show a range of brides in their regalia; each more fabulously clad than the other.

In terms of my wedding, it was sweet, fun and uneventful. Uneventful in the sense that there was no drama. I was married on a fall day at a club in one of the boroughs. I didn't wear the traditional wedding gown because I wanted to be me and wear something that made me happy. I wore an ivory silk chamois long fitted skirt and flowy blouse with raglan sleeves and over my silk top, I wore a beige Chanel bouclé jacket. A string of pearls completed my look and the New York Times gave us a Wedding Announcement write up with a glossy modeling picture of me that they thankfully no longer show online.

My dearest friend, Diahann, designed and made my outfit and also did all the flower arrangements. My family flew in from around the world and we had a lovely time with friends and family around us. I gave chocolates and miniature signed books as favors and we spent our wedding evening at the Waldorf Astoria hotel; friends stopped by and joined us in a champagne celebration after the wedding. Fourteen months later, our twins were born and fourteen years later or so, our marriage went kaput.

I have no regrets about my wedding day and wouldn't change a thing. We were very level headed about the plans, preparations and actual event that I cannot wrap my head around the hysteria people experience over their weddings. Sure, there were last minute jitters but everything else was clockwork and a collaborative effort. We remain best of friends today and we love our children without reservations.

Like Cinderella's carriage, we don't want our fantasy to turn into a pumpkin after a fab affair, therefore, managing the expenses of a wedding is important. So, when I think about my fellow brides who take out loans to spend huge amounts on a wedding day, including a gown they wear once, I can't relate. It's one thing if they have a fabulous time and the memories are passed down to kids and grand-kids who get the gown, but this isn't often the case in today's world of bridezillas today, gonezillas tomorrow. 

What are your thoughts? What kind of extravaganza did you have at your wedding? If not, why not?

Photo of African Brides Himba & Masai via Celayir Sirman
Photo of Bride in white gown  via What's Up Mag
Photo of African Brides Djibouti & Berber via Celayir Sirman
Photo of African Brides Karo & Swahili via Celayir Sirman
Photo of Pumpkins  via Honeymoon about.com

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank


  1. What are your thoughts? What kind of extravaganza did you have at your wedding? If not, why not?

    My first wedding did not include any kind of extravaganzas mainly because we didn't want them. I made the bouquets that my maid of honor and I carried (as well as the throw-away bouquet), the corsages for the moms of the bride (me) and groom and the boutonnieres that the groom and two best men/ushers wore. There were no flower girls or ring bearers, simply the groom, best man, maid of honor and myself. Small, simplistic and very intimate. We ended up divorcing 4 years later, after 2 children. I met and married my 2nd husband a couple years later, still nothing extravagant except our honeymoon which consisted of a 7 day cruise in the Caribbean. We divorced after nearly 10 years (no children). Now my 3rd marriage was the least extravagant of all as my husband and I were married in front of a justice of the peace at a courthouse in NV, 10 minutes later we were husband and wife. No bouquet, nothing. I'm glad I didn't do all of that, it would have, in hindsight, been a total waste anyway. Thanks for letting me share.

  2. What an interestung topic. I wouldn't change anything about wedding. It was a Christmas wedding with 100 people. Very simple but lots of dancing and laughing. Lots went wrong but I didn't care.

  3. New follower from Spotlight Saturday.

    As an event planner, I've done my share of weddings. I've come to the conclusion that almost every woman goes a tad insane when planning her wedding.

    Myself, I eloped. Had a courthouse wedding two states away, and the drive back was our honeymoon. While I'll never get legally married again, it would be nice to have a commitment ceremony. Luckily, with my history of planning, I not only know how to save money, but which parts of it are actually important! It's not the flowers, the favors, the colors you pick. It's the time spent celebrating with your friends and family!

  4. Hi! Thank for following me on Twitter! I am following you on Twitter as well as your blog. I invite you to follow me on my blog as well.

  5. Hi Elizabeth. Thanks for taking the time to check out my blog (The Place to be Happy) and reading my post about Cancer.

    I am now following you back. I love the spirit of your blog and btw both my wedding days were stressful!

  6. hi elizabeth, thank you for the follow. i am following you back too :)

  7. Thanks for the follow. I am following you back.

  8. new follower :) please follow back at www.thebabybottomline.com

  9. Hi there! I'm a new follower from blog hop!
    You can visit me at www.epicsavings.net

  10. Hi there! I'm a new follower from blog hop!
    You can visit me at www.epicsavings.net

  11. I really like this post! I wouldn't change anything about my wedding. We had a formal ceremony and a crazy reception. Which, is exactly the way I wanted it to be =)

    Thanks for following from Pink Dandy Sunday Blog hop!

  12. Ciao! You're very welcome! Thanks for following back & for your best wishes with my lessons. So sorry to hear your lessons got canceled. I'll be hosting lessons on my blog so stop by sometimes & feel free to take a look at them. I'm going to have a print friendly button which lets you print them too. I wish you the best with your French lessons.

  13. New follower from Mom Bloggers Rock. Your blog is very refreshing and positive!

    Hope you will follow us at


  14. I did have a fantastic wedding day on my parent's farm in Europe. My only regret is that a lot of people could not come due to immigration issues.

    Thank you for participating in last week’s Follow Us Monday Morning! I hope you will stop by and participate in this week’s Follow Us Monday Morning @ Frugality Is Free. The linky will go live around 10 p.m. EST.

  15. Hello! Following you from Saturday Stalk blog hop!


  16. We didn't have very much money so our wedding was very low-key - and perfectly fit our idea of a celebration.

    My aunt, who is gone now, gave me a peach suit. I wore a hat in the Princess Diana style of the day that we bought at a local store. My fiance - hubby now - asked if they were having a sale because the cost of $35 was way too dear for a hat. They were so happy that I was wearing it for my wedding that they held it for a couple of days for us until they were having a 50% off sale. All my little cousins were the bridesmaids and groomsmen, so it was very much a family affair.

    My brother was the best man but hadn't gotten his driver's license yet so my husband had to drive us all! It was funny.

    All in all, I'm glad we didn't have the big mortgage-the-house wedding. Much less stress.

  17. Hi I'm a new follower from FMBT :)


  18. Thanks for kind comment. :-)

  19. Hubby and I got married in a private ceremony but now think we would have like to have the whole shebang - maybe for one of the big anniversaries. Probably more fun to have a big party to renew our vows.

  20. Following via FMBT. Love the marriage quote.


    Nice to meet you!

  21. Hi, fellow Lamb! Loved the post and loved the pics, and I'd LOVE to see a photo of your wedding outfit, which sounds GORGEOUS!

    My first wedding was a disaster of Biblical proportions, because I was 21 and wanted everything to be PERFECT. So after 6 months of frantic planning and working 3 jobs to afford all the favours/flowers/ribbons I wanted, it all went belly-up on the day. Down to a tornado that broke the canopies under which everyone was sitting.

    That marriage lasted 3 years.

    Next one will be a super SUPER simple beach party with just the nearest and dearest friends and family. And egad, I'm gonna wear RED!

  22. I really enjoyed this post. My wedding was everything I wanted it to be and the best night ever! We had a great time. We did spend a little too much, but I don't think it was excessive.

    Thanks for stopping by for Relax & Surf Sunday. I am following you back. I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to get by here. It has been one of those weeks. ;-) I hope your week is going great!

  23. I'm very interested in other traditions. I feel like my own wedding was kind of custom-free. Also, we were both quite young at the time. The biggest change I'd make would be, well, everything except the groom. After twelve years, he's still a keeper.

    I'm in the Hare group with you on SITS. Just making the rounds, saying hello.

  24. What a great post! I am not yet married but will probably run away to the Maldives with just hubby to be and little girl and then have a big party afterwards! Stopping by from the SITS Lamby group to introduce myself :-) x

  25. My wedding was perfect. It was big and a bit extravagant and I make no apologies about it. I had all the people that I love in one place. Since many of them traveled far to be there I made sure to have lots of things in place to make sure they had a great time. There isn't a thing I would change about the day. I was able to have a ridiculously fun time too and never stressed over the details.

    We really don't have many traditions in my family. The only recent was is a toast to my grandfather with a shot of his favorite drink, Metaxa.

  26. My husband and I went to Italy and stayed in a ocean front villa for a week with our immediate family. We got married in a small town on the Amalfi Coast. There were 12 of us there in total, and it was perfect. We had a big party when we got home in my parents back yard. I couldn't imagine it any other way...for me at least.

  27. Thanks so much for following, following you back! Have a great week!

  28. Thank you ladies for your comments. Weddings are such a personal experience that it is always fun to hear each person's story... Whether they last or not, they are memorable; even the simple ones. Cheers,

  29. My wedding day was the best day of my life, up until my children were born! :)

    I'm your newest follower. I'd love for you to follow me back!

    Cheers from Being Frugal & Making It Work

  30. I've been married twice. Both times were in front of a Justice Of The Peace. The first was in front of a handful of family members. The second time it was just my two kids as the attendees.

    I've decided IF (and that's a big if), I ever get married again, I will have a ceremony. It wont be traditional - I like doing things fun and lax. But I will have a ceremony with family, a dress, an awesome cake, and lots of dancing.

    Great post! And I love the pictures of brides from all over the world.

    Hello from the Lamby tribe. =)

  31. A very interesting topic. I would not change a thing about my wedding. We eloped, spent a week in Reno gambling, got married and gambled some more. We drove over from California and on the way back we got stuck in a snowstorm in Truckee. We spent the night in a little loft overlooking the highway, it may not sound like much but it was actually very romantic. That was almost sixteen years ago and we are still happy together.

    Thanks for following, I am following you back.

  32. I'm GFC following from Surfin Saturdays


  33. I was just watching our wedding video and wished that we got a more professional videographer and editor. I was so frustrated last night! And during our devotion (with my husband), I was reminded that God is all we needed. We have a very happy marriage and that's most important. More important than the video.

    Looking back at our wedding though, it was AWESOME! Very unique, casual and happy! And 98% of what we wanted happened. But I can't deny the fact that somewhere during the preparation, I had become a bridezilla!

    Visit our wedding website!


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